Character

It is no secret that I have been unhappy with my job among other things. I seem lately to have been paralyzed by my misery. I do not want to make my position worse by making the wrong decisions, so I tend to not make decisions....which is a decision in itself. A decision that leaves me alone spending time by my pool in the sun and giving me too much time with my own thoughts. Where am I going with this, oh yes, so I have not been the most courteous person I should be lately. I guess right now I am making excuses for my behavior in a story I am about to tell...I will just get on with it.

Before I relinquished the Recruiter position, I had been frantically looking for a new job. One of my friends had recently taken a job at BC. She loved it, said all kinds of amazing things about it and really wanted me to apply. I had my hesitations because the position at BC is selling online adspace to businesses. It is inside sales, sitting in front of a computer all day and calling companies all over the country and selling them "pay per click" advertisement. I know myself well enough to know that I would HATE selling over the phone. I very much disliked calling old customers of Ambrosia's Chimney Sweep to set up appointments to clean their chimney. I abhorred making calls at cbey to set up appoints to close deals, I didn't even like calling job seekers to screen them for interviews. I think my past behavior has made it very clear that I do not enjoy cold calling on the phone. But KG, the manager at BC, wanted me to come to lunch with him, and two of their office people to discuss not only my eligibility for the sales job but to also pick my brain about being an inside recruiter. They had approached me earlier about working for them as a recruiter, an offer that I immediately shot down.

Just over a month ago I went to lunch with the three people from BC. We had a really nice time. I liked the atmosphere of the office, I liked the quality of the office, I liked the location , but I was still not sold on the position. After lunch KG told me he would let me make the next move as far as pursuing the position. And here is where I made my mistake. I never sent him a thank you note. Yes, I am paralyzed by my misery. Yes, I am trying to work hard at my new position and it completely drains me. Yes, I liked the company but didn't like the position and didn't know how to tell KG that. But there is still no excuse for not sending a thank you. My mother raised me better than that.

Two days ago I had dinner with my friend that works at BC and she mentioned that KG had commented that he was shocked that he had never heard from me. He said that he really liked me and was surprised that he had not even received a thank you. I was truly embarrassed and the next day sent him an email apologizing for the delay, thanked him for lunch and the opportunity to visit his company and told him that the job wasn't for me.

The next day I got a reply from KG that upset me a bit. He responded that he realized during our lunch that sales isn't my passion and wished me luck. Then he asked me to give him the names and numbers of my company's top three performers so that he could recruit them.

WTF?!? I'm still in shock. Is he testing my character? I am an incredibly loyal person. Even if I am not totally in love with my company I would never do that. He could have asked me for names of people that were very successful but decided to move on, but he asked for our top performers. I now truly have no regrets about declining the job. I just regret that he thought it was ok to ask me for a favor like that.

I have yet to compose an appropriate response.