Soul mates

So I have been thinking a lot about soul mates. Or have I been thinking about finding someone I want or could marry. Soul mates and people to marry are obviously completely different subjects... Anyway, so many different trains of thought have merged to create this post...I will try to untangle them so that they kind of make sense.

1. A long time ago, my Aunt Nancy told me that I needed to make a list of things that a man would have to do before he could be considered seriously by me. I think she said her dad gave her this advice and it seemed to work. She made the list. Her current husband marked off everything on the list before he became her husband. It seemed ridiculous then....not so ridiculous now. Too often it is the little things that make us happy or unhappy. It is those little things that we think we can overlook when we really want something to work, even though it is obviously doomed....

2. Practical Magic. A movie that I love very much, but always makes me sad that I do not have a sister...(I should say used to make me sad until I realized that I am the Shark's little sister!) Anyway, I found something in this movie that I really like. This is a scene in which Sally Owens is concocting a spell to summon a future groom and her sister Gillian questions her actions....

Young Sally Owens: He will hear my call a mile away. He will whistle my favorite song. He can ride a pony backwards.
Young Gillian Owens: What are you doing?
Young Sally Owens: Summoning up a true love spell called Amas Veritas. He can flip pancakes in the air. He'll be marvelously kind. And his favorite shape will be a star. And he'll have one green eye and one blue.
Young Gillian Owens: Thought you never wanted to fall in love.
Young Sally Owens: That's the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn't exist. And if he doesn't exist, I'll never die of a broken heart.

If you have seen the movie you would know that the guy she describes does exist. He does find her...and we are led to believe that they live happily ever after.

3. Recently someone I met, about 5 minutes after I met him, asked me what I wanted. I was confused. Since I was a recruiter at the time and used to doing interviews all day everyday, I was used to asking the questions. I was used to controlling the conversation and turning around all the questions to find out more about them than they could learn about me. I never thought about what I really wanted. That question he asked has been bouncing around my head ever since.



So here is my thought.... I do not believe in witchcraft. But I do believe in positive thinking. And I do believe that in verbalizing what you want you can help it come to pass. So in the spirit of Sally Owens, my own Aunt Nancy, and Matt Damon, I have been trying to come up with my own list. What do I want? Here is the problem. I can only think of specific things. I can only think of things I want that obviously made me feel happy in the past or things that I do not want that made me sad in the past. For instance....I want someone who reads The Economist and that knows I love Lime Perrier and keeps it available just for me. I do not want someone that thinks German Baptist are scary. I want someone that could appreciate the fact that I would wake up an hour early just to cook them breakfast to help keep them on a diet to help them survive another year or two here on the planet. I want someone who will tell me that I am beautiful. I do not want someone that insults my intelligence.

But none of these seem to be worth putting on a list. I need help. What kind of things should go on my list?